


Vows

by NoveltyPineapple



Category: Free!
Genre: ...eventually, Domestic Fluff, Future Fic, M/M, Mostly Rei pov because I can't stop, Wedding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-08
Updated: 2014-10-26
Packaged: 2018-01-11 15:49:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1174903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoveltyPineapple/pseuds/NoveltyPineapple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rei and Nagisa make small choices and big choices and remember why they love each other in the first place.</p><p>There will be a wedding, I swear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Distant Hope!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Job stress and sad cuddles.

Rei rolled over and glanced at the clock – 3:22. Nagisa would be home soon. Then maybe he could get some sleep.

He heard the door open and close and quickly rolled back to face the wall so it would look like he’d done more than doze restlessly since he went to bed. Nagisa had worried about keeping Rei awake when he took the new hours at the hotel bar, so Rei did his best to put him at ease. 

Quiet clicks, clangs, and shuffles traced Nagisa’s path through their apartment until the light from the bathroom briefly cast Rei’s ‘sleeping’ shadow on the wall before him. The sound of water running lulled him into another light doze as he waited. 

Nagisa slid carefully into bed, making an effort not to disturb him. He felt the warmth of Nagisa’s back inches from his own, and he wanted nothing more than to embrace that warmth, to breathe it in and tell Nagisa how much he missed him in the hours they’d been apart, to whisper about how much he loved him and not stop until he felt his breathing relax as they both drifted off. But he was supposed to be asleep. 

“I know you’re not asleep, Rei. I always know.” Nagisa said into the dark room. Rei could hear his sad smile.

“Oh.” Rei sighed, “In that case...”

He rolled over and draped an arm over Nagisa’s waist, pulling him in close and placing a kiss on the back of his neck before settling in. Nagisa let out a deep breath, almost a sigh. 

“That place called while you were at work,” he said. He was trying to hide it, but his voice was too flat. Rei knew what was coming.

“Oh?” he spoke hesitantly into the soft hair in front of him.

“I didn’t get the job,” Nagisa curled up a little tighter. 

“Oh.” Rei answered. He tried to think of something encouraging to say, but there was nothing he hadn’t said before. Nothing that wouldn’t sound like it came from the same can he opened each time Nagisa had to report this news. 

“Rei,” Nagisa rolled over and pressed his face into Rei’s shoulder, “I don’t know how much longer I can do this...”

Rei wrapped Nagisa in both arms and held him close, squeezing even tighter when he felt the shudder of a single sob. 

Rei missed Nagisa’s smile. Nagisa was still himself most of the time they were together – loud, exuberant, pushy – but he wasn’t happy. The others had noticed it too. When Makoto brought the all the kids up for his eldest son’s baseball game, he had placed a hand gently on Rei’s shoulder during the 7th inning break and asked if something was going on. Rei told him everything – that Nagisa had been searching for a better job with no luck at all for several months, that he had taken a night shift because it meant more hours, and that it made their schedules clash irreparably. Makoto had smiled in his encouraging way, and promised to be on the lookout for jobs. Rei knew it was all he could do. 

It also seemed like all Rei could do. He saw Nagisa for a few hours a day, and one of them was always exhausted. They tried to make the best of it and pretend nothing was wrong, but it only worked on the surface. 

“Quit.” Rei broke the silence that had settled around them.

“What?” Nagisa pulled away enough to look him in the face.

“Your job. You should quit,” Rei said, “we can still make it. We might have to cut back in a few areas, but I can draw up a new budget. We can make it work.”

“Rei...” 

“Not for you,” Rei pulled Nagisa close to him again, “It’s for me. I’m selfish and I don’t like seeing you this way. And I don’t like not seeing you. So you should quit.”

“Rei...” Nagisa pulled away again, this time placing a hand on Rei’s cheek. He was smiling. Not the forced smiles that had become so common. A real, living Nagisa smile. Rei was surprised it didn’t actually light up the room. 

He was only allowed to stare for a moment before Nagisa pulled him into a kiss. He slipped his hand into Rei’s hair and kissed him deeply, like it was the only language they had, and Rei understood.

Their breath filled the space between them when they parted.

“Thank you...” Nagisa whispered into it, “but you know I can’t.”

“I know,” Rei sighed. It was too great of an opportunity. Nagisa had fought too hard to get into that hotel to give it up now.

“They’re making changes, though,” Nagisa said, more brightly than Rei had heard in weeks, “one of the receptionists went on maternity leave, and I think they’re opening another concierge position... So there’s hope!” 

Rei melted in the face of another Nagisa smile. 

“Now go to sleep before I kiss you again. You have to work in like 5 minutes.” With that, Nagisa rested his head back on Rei’s shoulder and closed his eyes.

Had Rei fallen asleep immediately, he could have slept for 3 hours. Since that would have left him in the middle of a REM cycle – potentially causing drowsiness, irritability, and lack of focus the following day – Rei concluded that watching Nagisa sleep for half an hour had been in the best interest of his career, rather than a selfish indulgence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which I shamelessly channel my real problems into fanfic.


	2. Irritated Breakfast!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei and Nagisa have a day off together. Rei discovers something that makes him a little uneasy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, ok, so I have a problem with writing Chronologically. Forgive me.
> 
> [My headcanons advanced faster than my fic writing, so I should mention that they were adopted by a stray persian cat. Nagisa named her Princess Bean.]

The alarm clock was in a digital panic by the time Rei finally forced his eyes open and reached over Nagisa to turn it off. Nagisa could be a morning person when he wanted, but he had an ironclad will for staying asleep when he didn’t. He simply enjoyed sleep, and Rei envied him. He took a moment to study Nagisa’s face. He looked serene, and for once he wasn’t drooling at all. Rei knew a better boyfriend would let him sleep in. A better boyfriend would get up quietly and fix breakfast. But it was so rare for them to get a day off together, Rei didn’t feel like spending any part of it alone. He accepted that he was a terrible, selfish person and placed a kiss softly on Nagisa’s temple, breathing in the smell of his hair.

Nagisa’s eyes fluttered open and he blinked blearily at Rei, eyebrows furrowed, before rolling over and burying his face in the blankets.

“Hey! Don’t go back to sleep!” Rei made sure he was indignant enough to be heard through the pillow Nagisa had just pulled over his head.

“Muuhh uuhhh waaahhh uur maaa nuuhhhhhhhh” was all the response he got. 

He tried to remove the pillow, but Nagisa’s grip was strong for someone only half-conscious. Trying to roll him off the bed was also proving ineffective.

“I didn’t want to have to do this,” Rei shook his head forlornly. He knew Nagisa could hear him because he curled up into a defensive ball. 

Rei stood up and tore the blanket off the bed with the finesse of an amateur magician. He ran one finger down the bottom of Nagisa’s foot, resulting in a muffled protest as Nagisa curled up tighter than Rei thought was possible. He was going to have to go straight for his weak spot. He crawled back on the bed and leaned over. Deep concentration shadowed his face as he wormed his fingers past Nagisa’s defenses and found the ticklish spot on his side. 

Nagisa endured the torture nobly for several seconds before he switched to attack mode with a shriek of laughter. If Rei hadn’t braced himself at the last second, the first swing of the pillow would have sent him off the edge of the bed. 

“YOU JERK!” Nagisa swung the pillow again, “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU!”

“I’m sorry! I give up!” All Rei could do in the face of this fluffy barrage was shield himself with his arms. He laughed loudly, which only made Nagisa doubled the speed of his attacks.

“You are not! You’re not sorry at all!” Nagisa flopped down and let the pillow fall back over his face while he caught his breath. Rei crawled up beside him and lifted the corner.

“Good morning,” Rei addressed the pouting face beneath the pillow.

“That was low, Rei-chan. You’re lucky I love you so much,” Nagisa’s smile finally broke out.

“I know,” Rei said as he sat up, “You didn’t seem to mind too much, though.”

“You don’t have your glasses on. You just can’t see how furious I am,” Nagisa plucked the red frames carefully from their designated place next to the alarm clock and slid them onto Rei’s face. 

“You still look like you’re smiling to me,” Rei said.

“Look closer.”

Rei did as instructed, and Nagisa pecked him firmly on the lips with an audible smack and scampered away, shouting back something about claiming the bathroom first. 

\-- 

Princess Bean weaved her way between their legs when they sat down to breakfast. Rei didn’t bother to scold Nagisa when he caught him feeding her scraps of food under the table. The breakfasts they shared were usually spent in comfortable silence, or discussing the events of the day ahead. Since they hadn’t planned anything specific for today, Rei had his laptop open to the news. He scrolled idly, never settling on a headline to click on. 

“Mm! We got an invitation yesterday. One of my cousins is getting married,” Nagisa sifted through the pile of mail on the table and slid a small gold envelope over to Rei.

“Hm,” Rei studied the contents carefully, “I think we can make it, if you want to. It’s uncommon to plan an outdoor wedding so early in the year... too many variables, especially the weather.”

“Yeah, she’s a thrill-seeker, though. And stubborn. It could be hailing and she’d still make that wedding work.... When we get married, we should have it in the summer when everything’s bright,” Nagisa’s smile faltered for a split second, “... I mean, you know, IF we decide to get married... someday...”

Rei knew Nagisa had noticed the way he froze.

“If... we... Yes. I... I agree. I’ve always preferred summer for weddings. It has the best lighting for photographs and... flowers tend to be in season locally...” Rei took a very long moment to adjust his glasses.

Nagisa was smiling again and returned to his breakfast. He seemed fine... but was he really? Was he hiding how disappointed he was at Rei’s reaction? Nagisa had never been able to hide his emotions from Rei, at least not for long. Or maybe he was just so good at it that Rei had never even suspected? Rei swallowed. The silence stretched and he looked around for anything to help him break it, he even shot a pleading gaze to Princess Bean, who turned her back on him and resumed splashing her water out onto the kitchen floor.

“If we were married, maybe I wouldn’t get hit on so much at work,” Nagisa laughed and stood up to put his plate in the sink.

“You wouldn’t... wait, what?” Rei stared at him when he returned to the table. 

“Oh, it’s nothing to worry about. People just get a little friendly with the bartenders when they’ve had a few,” Nagisa said.

“That’s... That’s highly inappropriate,” Rei tried to keep his voice down.

“Yeah, it’s part of the job, though,” Nagisa shrugged, “It’s not like they’re dangerous or anything.”

“That is quite beside the point! You work at a reputable hotel! There’s no reason you should have to put up with harassment in your work environment-”

“It’s not really ‘harassment’...” Nagisa said, “It’s not a big deal...”

“Surely someone has brought this up with your supervisor!” Rei continued, “It’s unacceptable!”

“Rei, I told you, it’s part of the job!” Nagisa’s voice was tight with irritation, “People flirt, you flirt back, it’s good for tips!”

Rei hated himself for the anger that flared in his gut. He turned his face away, but he couldn’t smother it.

“You... you flirt with people at work?” His throat was tight, but he managed to speak without his voice breaking.

“No! No, no. Not like that,” Nagisa said. He placed a reassuring hand on Rei’s.

“Not like what? Is there another way to flirt with people?” Rei snapped, pulling his hand away. He felt the prickling guilt immediately.

“Not like that!” Nagisa repeated, “I even wear our pair ring every night!”

“We got those in high school,” Rei said, “Like anyone’s going to buy that!”

“I don’t go asking for it!” Nagisa was shouting now, and the guilt in Rei’s gut stabbed sharply.

“I never said that-” Rei started.

“It’s what you meant!” A few tears trailed down Nagisa’s cheeks and he wiped them roughly on his sleeve, “I just do my job, Rei. I talk to people, and if they get too forward, I respond just enough to get them to leave me alone,” Nagisa said, “It’s customer service. That’s all it is.”

“How do they know that’s all it is? Or do you let them think what they want?” Rei’s stomach twisted. He didn’t want to say these things. He didn’t even want to think them, “How- How do I know that’s all it is?”

Nagisa’s chair scraped loudly against the floor as he stood up and took Rei’s face in his hands. His eyes were still brimming with tears and the stabbing pain in Rei’s gut made him want to look away.

“You know because I told you. You know because I’m telling you now – I love you, Rei. You are the only one for me. There will never be anyone else,” Nagisa took a deep breath and wiped his eyes again, “I’m sorry I worried you. I know I’m a flirt and I’m too touchy with people sometimes... But you do trust me, right?”

“Yes,” Rei answered without hesitation. He leaned his head against Nagisa, “It’s not you. I’m sorry. I know. I know you would never... I just... I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

“As long as you know.” Nagisa stroked his hair lightly, “Hey, it’s ok, Rei. It is kind of sweet that you get so jealous over me.”

“No, it’s not,” Rei exhaled deeply, “It’s not sweet. It’s disgusting.”

“But you’re sweet,” Nagisa kissed him on the forehead and returned to his chair. He reached out to Princess Bean, who accepted his affection and nuzzled her flat face on his leg.

Rei swallowed before he broke the silence.

“We could, you know,” he said, “Get married, I mean.”

“Mm,” Nagisa leaned his chair back on two feet, “I’m gonna be out of this job long before we manage to plan a wedding. At least, I plan to be. Besides, that’s not really a good enough reason to get married.”

“I suppose not,” Rei said.

“Hey,” Nagisa let the other two feet of his chair hit the floor, “we should go do something. I don’t want a stupid argument to ruin our day together.”

“What do you suggest?” Rei asked.

“Not sure,” Nagisa stood up and held his hand out to Rei, “take a walk with me and we’ll figure it out on the way.”

“If we don’t come up with a goal, we’ll just be wandering aimlessly,” Rei said, even as he slipped into his shoes.

“That could be fun too, ya know,” Nagisa closed the door behind them and started down the stairs.

It had rained recently. The pavement was wet, but the sky above them was full of fluffy white clouds. The trees were beginning to bud with leaves and blossoms that would soon signal the beginning of spring. Nagisa grabbed Rei’s hand and lead him down the sidewalk in search of nothing in particular and Rei couldn’t help but smile. A thought struck him.

“Nagisa,” Rei said, “What would be a good enough reason to get married?”

“Hmm... I don’t know,” Nagisa slowed his pace and stared up at the clouds like they might spell out the answer, “I guess we’ll have to figure that out on the way, too.” 

“And if we don’t find one?” Rei asked.

Nagisa stopped and turned to face him, “Then I’d be happy just wandering aimlessly with you.”


	3. Theoretical Champagne Flute!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> News is shared. Champagne is consumed.
> 
> Conflict is the core of a story, so I promise it won't be so exclusively fluffy all the time. I just needed to write this because I am a sap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, all of my chapters are going to be named in the style of Free! episode titles. They amuse me a lot.
> 
> [My headcanons advanced faster than my fic writing, so I should mention that they were adopted by a stray persian cat. Nagisa named her Princess Bean.]

Rei was elbow deep in dirty dishes when he heard a thunderous sound that could only be Nagisa coming up the stairs of their complex. Despite the advanced warning, he still jumped a little when the door flew open. Nagisa stood in the doorway, eyes wide, with a bottle raised dramatically above his head.

“Nagisa, what—“

“I GOT... THE CONCIERGE JOB!” He kicked the door closed behind him and leapt out of his shoes.

A pan splashed into the sink.

“And since I’m just transferring positions, I get to start right away next week and – Waah!”

Rei nearly toppled them both with the force of his hug. Nagisa threw his arms around Rei’s neck, barely managing to keep his toes on the floor. They both ignored the soapy dish gloves soaking handprints into the back of Nagisa’s coat.

Rei wanted to congratulate him. To tell him how proud he was. He wanted to hear all the details of how he found out and what came next, but he couldn’t stop laughing. All the waiting and hoping and disappointments suddenly felt like they meant something. Relief washed over them both and the laughter hit hard, like it had been lurking just below the surface, building up over the weeks of tension. Nagisa, who had always been so fluent in joy, laughed against Rei’s shoulder until his lungs ached and there were tears in his eyes.

Rei’s voice was hoarse by the time he could string words together again. He felt the bottle Nagisa was holding bump against his back.

“What is that?” he asked, trying to keep his voice under control.

“Ah! I bought champagne!” Nagisa jumped back and held the bottle aloft again, punctuating each of his next words with a decisive step towards the couch, “Because We. Are. Celebrating!”

“Now?” Rei glanced down, remembering his gloves, “I was cleaning the kitchen...”

“Right now!”

“You’re supposed to chill it for optimum— ”

“Nope!”

Rei stared for a moment, “Do we even have champagne flutes?”

“Don’t be a square, Rei-chan,” Nagisa used his favorite pet name with great exasperation. He shed his now soapy coat and flopped on the couch, “We can totally drink it from the bottle.”

Rei shook his head, but he couldn’t wipe the smile off his face as he entered the kitchen, “I’m going to find some glasses. Even mugs would be better than chugging off the same bottle like delinquent teenagers.”

“You don’t care about my spit when you’ve got your tongue in my mouth.” Nagisa said from the other room.

“That is not the reason!” Rei shouted back. It wasn’t necessary to shout, but now he could feel the heat spreading across his face. Honestly, how long had they been together and he still blushed like a schoolgirl. It was infuriating, and Nagisa had never, in all the years from high school until this very day, missed an opportunity to mention it.

“You’re blushing now, aren’t you?” Nagisa was clearly delighted. The silence from the kitchen was response enough and he broke into laughter again.

Rei returned a few minutes later with one champagne flute and one wine glass. 

“We should really invest in a complete set of glassware. Aesthetics aside, there’s something to be said for the psychological benefit of not using your parents’ hand-me-downs. I could only find one and these are just—” he paused to appreciate the scene that met him as he entered the room.

Nagisa was sprawled sideways on the couch with his head hanging off the edge, reaching in vain for Princess Bean. The cat stood just out of reach, looking regal in her unabashed ugliness.

“Aww, Princess Bean... You should be happy for me! I got a job!” Nagisa pouted as the cat sauntered off.

Rei bent down and kissed Nagisa’s forehead.

“I missed you,” he said, sitting normally on the couch and placing the glasses on the table.

“While you were in the kitchen?” Nagisa smirked, swiveled nearly180 degrees, and lean his head on Rei’s shoulder.

“I mean these last few weeks. You haven’t been quite yourself,” Rei said.

“Mm,” Nagisa nuzzled his shoulder, “I kinda missed me too.”

Rei placed another kiss on his head.

“Are you going to sit up so we can have this celebration you insisted upon?”

Nagisa obliged and the champagne was opened with minimal danger (and minimal fun), thanks to Rei’s supervision. They poured out two glasses and raised them ceremonially. 

“To your job,” Rei said.

“To hope!” Nagisa replied. 

Despite the connotations of sophistication and beauty it carried, Rei had never liked champagne. It usually reminded him of office parties and networking events. This champagne was lukewarm and probably low quality to begin with, but it tasted exactly like hope. It was an example of a phenomenon which Rei had been studying for some time. Things changed around Nagisa – glasses were always half full, disasters became opportunities, and rainy days could still be bright. Rei hadn’t yet concluded if this was something Nagisa radiated (possibly on a quantum level), or simply an alteration of his own perception, but he knew it was something he could no longer live without.

The source of this phenomenon, Rei noticed, was uncharacteristically silent. 

“Nagisa?”

“Rei...” His voice was shaky. He stared down into his glass, soft hair falling over his eyes. 

“What is it?”

“You know... I...” his voice broke into a fit of giggles, “I’ve never liked champagne.”

Nagisa had introduced Rei to a wide variety of new experiences. Rei could say with certainty that having champagne come out his nose was one of the less pleasant ones. His burst of laughter turned immediately into coughing as he felt the burning in his nose and throat.

Nagisa’s momentary shock disappeared behind laughter. He slid slightly off the couch, doubled over and fighting to breathe.

“Is that really all you’re going to do!?” Rei coughed.

“I’m sorry...” Nagisa took a deep breath between fits, “I’m sorry...”

He sprung into action and Rei was soon supplied with a towel to mop the champagne from his face and clothes.

“Oh my god, Rei, I thought I was going to die,” Nagisa still shook occasionally with suppressed laughter.

“Your concern is touching,” Rei adjusted his glasses and tossed the towel on the table.

Nagisa leaned forward and poured himself another glass.

“No use letting it go to waste,” Nagisa answered Rei’s perplexed face.

Rei tried to think of a counter-argument. When he couldn't, he poured himself another glass.

 

Half a bottle later, Rei figured out his counter-argument. He tried to tell Nagisa, but by the time he’d gotten his attention, he’d forgotten what it was. Something about body mass and alcohol tolerance.

Nagisa had explained everything there was to explain about his new job – the responsibilities, the hours, what he was excited about and nervous about – and they absentmindedly sipped champagne all the while. Nagisa slid inch by inch into Rei’s lap so he could lay his head on Rei’s chest while they watched the rain through their tiny front window, warm, comfortable, and only a little tangled.

“Nagisa, this was a terrible idea,” Rei made a valiant effort at seriousness, but as soon as he felt Nagisa’s tired giggles against his chest, his smile returned.

“Are you kidding? This is the best! I can never get you to lay around like this,” Nagisa tightened his arms around Rei, “I’m gonna get you drunk more often.”

“You are not. And we are not drunk,” Rei would admit that he was slightly intoxicated. Buzzed, if you will. He felt heavy. And a little giddy. He felt relaxed, which was not something he experienced frequently. He felt warm, which he experienced more because of Nagisa than anything else.

“You know what WAS a terrible idea?” Nagisa asked.

“Hmm?” Rei blinked slowly.

“You telling me to quit. Of all the terrible ideas you’ve ever had, Rei-chan, that was the worst.” Nagisa said with mock severity, “It’s a good thing I don’t listen to you.”

“I’ll grant you that,” Rei pulled Nagisa a little closer and ran a hand through his hair, “I’m so proud of you. For persevering. For making the best of everything. I... I don’t think I could have done it.”

“Hmm...” Nagisa smiled contentedly.

After a moment’s thought, Rei’s eyebrows furrowed, “but I don’t think you can use this as a logical basis to ignore all my advice. There’s no quantifiable data to support it. On the whole, my ideas are good. Better than yours, anyway.”

“I don’t know,” Nagisa said skeptically, sitting up so he could look Rei in the face, “maybe we should start keeping track. You know,” he adjusted invisible glasses, “for the sake of statistical curiosity.”

Rei ignored Nagisa’s attempt at impersonating him. “We could set up a chart. We’d have to decide on concrete criteria for good ideas and bad ideas, and whether it’s based solely on the outcome, with no regard to the means. And I don’t know that it’s necessarily a dichotomy; we may have to create a spectrum from good to—Mm...?” In the moment it took Rei to register the lips on his, they were gone. Nagisa’s face was still so close that the tips of their noses brushed. Rei found it hard to think with him that close.

“I have an idea we can test.” Nagisa carefully removed Rei’s glasses and set them on the table.

“By all means,” Rei leaned in and returned the kiss. Their technique was somewhat less precise than usual. Rei could almost feel the champagne bubbles still swirling in his head and he blamed them. After one particularly harsh nose bump they pulled back with a laugh.

“You’re blushing again...” Nagisa said, a little breathless.

“So are you,” Rei earned a gasp as he turned his attention to Nagisa’s neck. The area just below the ear was his particular favorite, as it never failed to make Nagisa actually squeal. He wasn’t disappointed.

“Rei!” Nagisa admonished, squirming away and giggling. Rei looked somewhat less than remorseful. As Nagisa buried his hands deeper in Rei’s hair and brought their lips together again, Rei resigned himself to finishing the dishes in the morning.

 

He woke up late with only the ghost of a headache to remind him of the previous evening’s celebration. Nagisa was covering an early shift and Rei was a little peeved he hadn’t at least woken him to say goodbye before leaving. He shuffled into the kitchen and stopped short. The only trace of Nagisa’s departure was a rack of clean dishes adorned with a sticky note reading “ilu, Rei” surrounded by several scribbley hearts. Rei tried to suppress his stupid grin, though the only one watching was Princess Bean.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Iwatobi gang has a casual reunion. Rin complains. Makoto mothers. Rei worries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna try to sit on this chapter for a few days, but I can't. The next one is at least half way to completion, so it should be up in the next week or two.

Nagisa hoped Rei could tell what an effort he was making not to bounce in his seat. Road trips made Rei extra tense and Nagisa extra restless and the combination never lead to anything good. Despite an undeniable (but kind of adorable) touch of road rage, Rei insisted on doing all the driving, refusing all of Nagisa’s offers to take the wheel. Now that Nagisa thought about it, it was probably because he didn’t have a license. Whatever, he understood all the theories behind driving. He leaned back and stared out the window. He didn’t want to miss catching the very first glimpse of the ocean.

The former swim club members (and honorary members) stayed in touch, but they almost never saw each other all at once. So, when Kou announced her plan to rent a small beach house near Iwatobi for a weekend, they all did their best to clear their schedules. Rei turned down as much overtime as he could, but they were still the last ones to show up Friday night.

The sun just beginning to set when they arrived, and Nagisa was throwing himself into a group hug before Rei was even out of the car. He snagged Rei’s arm and pulled him into the affectionate huddle as soon as he was within reach. There was a whirl of smiles and greetings and it was nearly dark by the time they all sat down to eat.

There was so much to talk about over dinner, Nagisa hardly knew where to start. Not just in their lives, either. Haru had just been offered another contract with the children’s book publisher he did a few illustrations for last spring. He tried to maintain his characteristic cold serenity in the face of their congratulations, but Nagisa caught the shimmer of a smile behind his eyes. Rin complained about finding work he could balance with his volunteer coaching. Kou had been hired into a promising position in another town; she had also, however, broken up with her boyfriend. 

“That’s too bad. I’m sure it was for the best...?” Makoto offered hesitantly.

Kou rested her head on her hand, “That’s not as comforting coming from you, Mr. Happily Married.”

“Yeah, how many kids have you got now, anyway?” Rin asked. A green-eyed toddler ran past him, wobbling as she tripped over her feet. He reached a hand out to steady her.

“Still just three,” Makoto laughed, peering around the head of the matching girl on his lap, “Jun and the twins. He and Nanami wanted to be here, but Jun has a game this weekend.”

“Geez,” Rin shook his head, “You could give the rest of us a chance to catch up, ya know...”

“Oh? I had no idea you were interested in starting a family!” Kou grinned slyly at him, “I’ve been setting you up with all the wrong people!”

“I never asked you to set me up with anyone!” Rin shot back.

“Rin-chan’s always had people chasing after him,” Nagisa broke in cheerily, “I’m sure he’s got tons of people begging to marry him!”

“It wouldn’t be any of your business if I did!” Rin grumbled, “And you’re just as bad! Christ, who actually ends up with their high school crush? It’s like a bad chick-flick with you two! I’m just sayin’, this guy could dial back the perfect family, perfect life a little. Makes the rest of us look like we’re falling behind.”

“I’m really not any better off than you all are. I mean, we never expected to start having kids so early, and the twins were a huge surprise. We’re all just starting out, trying to find a direction. It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Makoto smiled his comforting smile and the mood of the room relaxed despite Rin’s pouting.

“Makoto...” Haru didn’t look up. He was doodling absentmindedly in a small notebook, “when’s the next one due?”

“That’s—I mean we’ve discussed it, but... Not for at least a few years!” Makoto sputtered, “Nagisa, you started a new job recently, right? How’s that going?”

Nagisa barely managed to conceal his laughter.

“Really great! It’s been a month and every day is completely different! I’ve gotta be up-to-date on the local nightlife for making recommendations, so it gives me an excuse to drag Rei to nightclubs. I even got a few drinks in him last time,” he turned to Rei, “and your carefully calculated world didn’t crash around you, did it?”

“Not in its entirety,” Rei adjusted his glasses. 

“And you had fun, didn’t you?” Nagisa grinned at him.

“... Yes...” Rei admitted.

“We’ll loosen you up yet, Rei-chan,” Nagisa’s eyes narrowed but he maintained his grin. He let Rei’s old pet name slip when the others were around, just for fun. It was nostalgic and it made him feel like maybe not so much had changed since their lunches on the rooftop.

“I think not,” Rei countered, “one of us has to be the responsible one, and it’s certainly not going to be you.”

Kou exchanged a glance with Haru, who rolled his eyes.

“Speaking of responsibility and happy couples, Nagisa, isn’t it about time you made an honest man of poor Rei here? If you don’t claim him soon, I might.”

“Pfft, fat chance,” Nagisa laughed loudly, but noted the conspicuous lack of an indignant response from Rei, “I don’t think you’re Rei’s type. If it was Rin-chan, I might be in trouble.”

“Hell no, you can keep him,” Rin replied dryly, “I’m not that desperate.”

“Good,” Still no indignation from Rei. Nagisa leaned over to hang on his arm, “Hey, we decided I get to keep you.”

“Huh? Oh, good...” Rei returned to staring at his hands. He looked a little... dazed.

“You still there?” Nagisa asked.

“Yeah, I just... I feel like taking a walk,” Rei stood up and grabbed his coat, “I just need some air.”

He shot them an anxious smile. He didn’t know it was anxious, of course. He probably meant it to be reassuring, but Nagisa could tell something was bothering him.

“Did we say something?” Kou asked.

“Nah, he’s just thinking too hard about something. I’ll see what’s up,” Nagisa followed him out. 

\---

Rei hardly noticed when he found himself on the beach. He wondered how far he would have walked had the ocean not blocked his path. It was a warm night for this time of year, but he still felt the chill of the wind through his jacket. The sky was clear and the stars were bright and beautiful against the vast darkness.

He hated having to leave his friends like that. They all saw each other so rarely, it was waste to spend the time stuck in his own head. However, he knew he would be a less than engaging conversation partner until he worked out whatever had set him so ill at ease. 

He knew what it was. All this talk of breaking up and marriage and children had wound up and stuck somewhere in his chest. Not just from tonight, but from months of casual comments and half-forgotten conversations between Nagisa and himself. And now it sat stubbornly against his ribcage, coiling and uncoiling in time with his drumming thoughts.

Rei had always imagined “growing up” to include certain things – a wife, children, a steady 9-5 job. It was simply the default path. Even in middle school, when he began to understand which way his preferences leaned, he never took the time to rethink that default. Academics and sports had occupied his thoughts and left little room for social concerns, especially romance. Looking back, Rei could admit that he had actively avoided that particular area, convincing himself there were ‘better’ things to worry about. 

And he avoided it expertly. Congratulations to him. He would probably still be avoiding it if Nagisa hadn’t been so loud and so beautiful and so entirely unavoidable. He smiled fondly at the memory of the first time Nagisa followed him off the train on his morning jog. He might have been spared a lot of trouble if he’d jogged a little faster. 

Rei jumped out of his nostalgia when a pair of arms encircled his waist and a familiar warmth pressed against his back.

“You shouldn’t walk around alone on the beach at night. It’s only romantic if you bring me with you,” Nagisa’s voice blended with the low whisper of small waves, “...What are you thinking about?”

Rei hesitated for a moment.

“You.” He answered, resting his hands on the smaller ones.

Nagisa squeezed him a little tighter, “Hmm, what a coincidence. I was thinking about you.”

“Nagisa...” Rei paused when he realized he wasn’t sure what he wanted to ask. A certain phrase from the coiled heap offered itself helpfully. He hoped Nagisa didn’t notice the way his heart raced. Not now, not here. If there was a right time, this was not it. He settled for a different question.

“As an adolescent... what did you imagine your life would be like now?”

“I wanted to be Prime Minister,” Nagisa said without a moment’s hesitation, “Then everyone would have to listen to me, even my sisters.” 

“I see,” a smile broke the surface of Rei’s anxious face.

“But I also wanted to study bugs,” Nagisa continued, “So, a mix. I imagined I would be the Prime Minister of Japan, who also had a huge bug collection.”

“A very reasonable goal,” a laugh wormed its way through Rei’s worries, “but that’s not really what I meant.”

“You mean like what Rin was talking about?” Nagisa nuzzled Rei’s shoulder, “I don’t feel like I’m falling behind, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“You don’t?” 

“Not at all,” Nagisa said, “Well, maybe a little on the bug collection...”

“Ah, we’ll have to work on that,” Rei turned to face his boyfriend, placing a hand against his cheek.

“You know what my bug collection really needs?” Nagisa leaned into Rei’s touch.

“What?” 

“Butterflies.”

Rei grinned stupidly. He knew it was stupid. He knew it was the kind of goofy, awkward smile that only Nagisa could coax out of him, and he didn’t care.

“And you know what else?” Nagisa continued, “As cool as those things would be... I could never have pictured being as happy as I am with you.”

There was something else obstructing Rei’s breathing now, and it wasn’t anxiety. He could only assume it must be his heart, because that wasn’t responding properly either. Nagisa nearly lost his own breath when Rei pulled him into a dangerously tight hug. Nagisa melted into his embrace, and Rei briefly considered never letting go. The thoughts that had clouded his mind seemed insignificant now. It really didn’t matter what they called themselves or how others viewed them – this would always feel the same. 

“Feeling better?” Nagisa laughed against his shoulder.

“Yes...” Rei tucked a wayward curl behind Nagisa’s ear. He found himself wishing he could bottle this feeling. If he could capture it, study it – the rush, the lightness, the focus – maybe he could finally tell Nagisa, with scientific accuracy, exactly how much he loved him. It would take pages and pages, Rei thought, with charts and graphs and footnotes. There was no way Nagisa would sit still for that long. He’d have to find another way. 

He leaned in slowly, taking time to appreciate Nagisa’s long eyelashes as his eyes fluttered closed in anticipation. Their lips met softly, once, twice. The third time, Nagisa slid his hands up Rei’s chest, wrapping his arms around his neck and pulling him deeper. Rei hummed appreciatively and ran his hand down the curve of Nagisa’s back, savoring his lean form through his t-shirt.

He stopped.

“Aren’t you freezing... in just a t-shirt...?” Rei mumbled against Nagisa’s mouth.

“You can keep me warm...” Nagisa nipped gently at his lower lip.

“But where- mm-” Rei persisted, despite how jelly-like his knees had suddenly become, “w-where is your coat?” 

Nagisa broke the kiss with a dramatic sigh, “I don’t know! I must have left it in the house! Geez, Rei! Where’s your sense of romance!?”

“At least I have the common sense to wear adequate clothing!” Rei frowned at the accusation. How much more romantic would this have been if Nagisa had been wearing a sweater, instead of risking illness in the freezing cold?

“We should be getting back anyway...” Rei said, glancing at the bright windows of the house farther up the shore.

“Yeah, I guess. We’re missing a beautiful opportunity, though.” Nagisa huffed. He still allowed Rei to take his hand and lace their fingers together.

“Every moment I spend with you is beautiful,” Rei said, suddenly wishing he hadn’t when the hand holding his stopped dead.

Nagisa fought to maintain his frown, but the moment he met Rei’s eyes it shattered into a fit of laughter. 

“How can you say stuff like that with a straight face!?” He gasped.

“I’m sorry...” Rei grimaced.

“No! Don’t ever stop! It’s the best!” Nagisa leaned heavily against him as they continued walking, “I’m serious! I’m blushing and everything!”

Nagisa’s cheer had returned full force by the time the reached the house. As they entered the halo of warm light on the porch, Rei leaned in and stole one more feather-light kiss. Before he had a chance to congratulate himself on his perfect romantic form, two hands on his collar prevented his clean escape. Nagisa pressed another kiss on his lips and Rei could feel him smiling. 

“You still owed me for the one on the beach,” Nagisa bumped the tips of their noses together.

“What did I tell you? Absolutely sickening,” Rin stood frowning in the now open doorway with the others crowded behind him.

“Someone’s jealous...” Kou laughed.

“Ahaha, we, ah, didn’t mean to interrupt...” Makoto said.

“Yes we did,” Haru said, “Are you guys coming in or what?”

Nagisa bounded through the door to rejoin the group, and Rei took a moment to ponder his debt as he closed the door behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if I'm dragging my feet because Rei's dragging his, or the other way around. 
> 
> Either way, the next chapter is the one you've been waiting for, I swear.


	5. Shopping No Breathing!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first moment you've all been waiting for. 
> 
> A question is asked. A response is given. Groceries are purchased.

“Nagisa, does this one look acceptable?” Rei held a cabbage up skeptically.

“There’s no such thing as an ‘acceptable’ cabbage!” Nagisa pushed it away with an exaggerated face of disgust, “No one likes cabbage. Cabbage tears apart marriages. Do you want us to become one of those statistics they show on the news, Rei? Do you?”

“Sorry, I didn’t intend to endanger the legalization of same-sex marriage with my dinner plans,” Rei said, placing the offending vegetable back on the pile.

“Just don’t let it happen again,” Nagisa’s reprimand was ruined by his grin. He glanced at their shopping list and made his way to the next item.

There it was again. Marriage. Rei felt the word swirl in his head, dislodging all the worries built up around it. It was a common joke between them – but always a joke. A passing reference to a ‘maybe someday’ future they could hardly see through the haze of here-and-now. Rei had considered it, of course, and he was sure Nagisa had too. But his own considerations always ran into the same wall, the same word. 

Impractical. 

It wouldn’t change anything. It would be superfluous – an unnecessary expense and an unnecessary hassle. Statistically, marriage had a negligible effect on whether a couple stayed together. It didn’t prove or guarantee love. Nagisa loved him, he knew that. The only thing he knew more indisputably was that he loved Nagisa. They didn’t need a ceremony to prove it. Marrying Nagisa would be impractical. 

But when had anything about Nagisa been practical?

Rei wondered when practicality had become his prime directive. The last few years had been full of sacrifices made in its name. Practical jobs. Practical furniture. Practical dreams. 

What happened to beauty? What happened to the part of him that could appreciate the impractical? The part that could see elegance without efficiency? That part was still there. It was the part that made him join track, and then swimming in high school. It had led him through his college studies and later into his career. 

It was the he same part that had had its standard of beauty redefined when he fell in love with a boy in absurd knee-high socks, and it was the same part that moved him to speak now.

“Nagisa,” Rei adjusted his glasses without looking up, “I know this might be sudden, but...”

_What am I doing?_

“...seeing as we seem to have reached a stable point in both our careers and our relationship...”

_We are in a grocery store._

“...and seeing... as... seeing as I have never, and will never, love anyone like I love you—“ Rei felt his voice catch very slightly. 

_There’s still time. Stop now._

“...I would be honored if you would consider becoming my husband a-and having me as yours, officially. Or, as officially as possible.” 

Rei didn’t realize he had closed his eyes. He barely realized he’d stopped speaking. The chill of what he’d just done shot up his spine and froze his brain. His thoughts swam in anxiety, but not regret. 

“Did you say something, Rei-chan?” Nagisa asked from across a display of oranges.

“I—“ Rei squeaked. His heart sank. His mind unfroze just enough to fly back to his very first day in the swim club, when he sank so gracelessly to the bottom of Samezuka’s pool. Maybe if he had quit then and there, he could have avoided this. Maybe, on some other timeline, there was a Ryuugazaki Rei who did not just deliver a heartfelt marriage proposal to a rack of cabbages.

“I—“ he wished his mind would freeze again.

“Come here,” Nagisa gestured to him, “you always pick the best ones. Oh hey, do you need leeks for that thing you make? We should have that this week.”

When Rei didn’t move, Nagisa crossed the few meters between them and took his hands, gently guiding him to the oranges in need of his inspection.

It’s probably better this way, Rei thought. It’s definitely better this way. He’d sleep on it. Maybe give it a few days, or weeks. He’d have time to plan a better venue, a better atmosphere, a much better speech. He’d spend some time watching proposal videos while Nagisa was at work. He’d do it properly next time, if he decided to do it at all. Yes, this was for the best. 

Nagisa released his hands and began sorting through the oranges. Rei stared blankly at the fruit, mouth still slightly open. 

“Rei, are you feeling alright?” Nagisa laughed a little over his shoulder, “You look a kinda sick...”

Rei looked up and met Nagisa’s eyes for an instant before he returned to his task. They were tinted with concern, but still full of the lively spark that never left them. He felt something welling up inside him. Maybe he really was sick.

Rei swallowed. 

He took a deep breath. 

He cleared his throat. 

He took another deep breath, just in case. It’s important, he thought, to maintain proper respiratory—

“NAGISA, WILL YOU MARRY ME?” Rei heard himself blurt out before he knew he’d begun speaking.

Nagisa’s attention snapped back to Rei so fast that he sent several oranges rolling to the floor in a tiny citrus avalanche. 

“Rei???” Nagisa still had an orange in one hand. He clutched it to his chest.

“No, I- I mean... wait... just...” Rei stammered, but Nagisa had already begun to nod frantically. 

Rei pushed his glasses up firmly as he collected his thoughts. He was going to do this right, no matter how many tries it took. When he sank down onto one knee, Nagisa let the orange drop to the floor. He was still nodding when Rei reached out and took both of his hands. 

“Nagisa... I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I think we should get married. If- if you want to, that is... So...” Rei felt all his scattered thoughts fall away. In that one moment everything was clear, and he was sure of everything that mattered.

“Hazuki Nagisa... will you marry me?”

He got his answer as a hiccupping sob as Nagisa nodded more furiously. Rei barely had a chance to stand up before Nagisa had his arms around him, still nodding into his shoulder as Rei returned the embrace.

“You...” Nagisa sniffled loudly.

“What?” Rei smiled fondly into Nagisa’s curls.

“You jerk.” Nagisa pulled back.

“What??” 

“I thought you didn’t want to!” He prodded Rei’s chest with an accusatory finger.

“I... well...” Rei stammered.

“If we were gonna do it, I figured we would have done it before we moved! And you’re always going on about how simplicity is the key to elegance and unnecessary change is a gimmick to appease people’s restless senses and—“ Nagisa stopped his impersonation mid-sentence, “Was that all a ruse so you could ask before I did?!”

“What? Of course it wasn’t! I would never—“ Rei raised his hands in defense.

“Mhmm, right,” Nagisa shook his head in feigned disbelief.

“I-“ Rei started defensively, but paused as his mind caught up, “I... I had no idea you listened when I talked about that stuff...” 

“I always listen to you,” Nagisa pouted before continuing, “You’re very clever, Rei-chan, but don’t think you’re gonna be able to pull one over on me like that ever again. I’m on to you now.”

“I didn’t!” 

A quiet cough from behind them was all it took to remind Rei of where they were. His face began to heat as he glanced around. A store clerk was waiting to retrieve the oranges scattered around their feet. The supermarket manager stood beside him, greeting them with a look not quite stern enough to hide his amusement. Two gray-haired ladies stood across the produce section, chattering to each other with quiet excitement. One of them shot Rei a thumbs-up when he looked their way. 

Rei didn’t remember very much about the embarrassed apologies he’s sure followed. They purchased their groceries, and Rei made a mental list of the things they missed due to their distraction. He would pick those up later in the week. At a different store. 

Most of what he remembered had to do with Nagisa’s hand in his, Nagisa’s laughter whenever their eyes met, and not being able to stop smiling.

 

The trip home was spent in bubbly excitement; Nagisa bit his lip in an attempt to stifle the giggling that kept spilling out like soda fizz. To be fair, Rei was sure he hadn’t stopped blushing either. 

“That was beautiful, by the way,” Nagisa said, “even if it took you two tries.”

“Three tries,” Rei corrected without thinking.

“Three?” Nagisa raised an eyebrow.

“Ah. Haha. I mean...” Rei searched frantically for an explanation.

They arrived at their apartment just in time. Nagisa laughed and raced ahead to tell Princess Bean the good news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just when you thought it couldn't get any more domestic -- boom, grocery shopping. 
> 
> One time I thought it might be out of character to have Rei propose this way... and then my co-blogger reminded me that this is the boy who joined a swim team without knowing how to swim.
> 
> Thank you for sticking with me this far. I have a pretty solid outline for the rest and I'm finally (finally [finally]) done with school for good, so they should be a little less sporadic. I'm not making any predictions for the next update because every time I do, I end up lying.


	6. Hesitant Loosen Up!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei and Nagisa's wedding planning adventures. Making lists, choosing colors, and dealing with bad news...
> 
> I didn't even make a pun on the episode name, I just stole it because I'm lazy.
> 
> EDIT: I FORGOT TO POST A LINK TO THIS [CRAZY BEAUTIFUL ART THING](http://ohlookitscazz.tumblr.com/post/100948906421/so-this-is-a-commission-i-did-as-a-belated/) by the peerless [Cazz](http://ohlookitscazz.tumblr.com)! (Spoilers: They get married.)

“Alright!” Rei clapped his hands together, “Wedding Checklist Review: Stage 2.3. Are you ready?”

“Yes, sir!” Nagisa saluted.

Rei cleared is throat and took up the freshly-printed list in front of him.  
“Theme?”

“Beach elegance – no palm trees, hoola skirts, or shells.”

“Location?”

“Scouted and reserved!”

“Date?”

“Sure, where do you want to go?”

“Nagisa!”

“Saturday, August 18th!”

“Invitations?”

“Created, addressed, and sent!”

“Cake?”

“Yes please!”

“Nagisa, you just had lunch!”

“And it was very good. Thank you for cooking, Rei-chan.” 

“RSVPs?”

“40% attending, 55% unknown, 5% non-attending! 100% of wedding party set to attend!”

“Oh, did we get Haruka’s RSVP?” Rei looked up from his list.

“No, but he texted me and I think that’s as good as we’re going to get,” Nagisa shrugged, “your brother is flying in, right?” 

“Yes, he’s coming a few days before to stay with our parents.”

“I can’t wait to meet him!”

“I’m really glad you’ll get to," Rei smilied, "His job keeps him busy. It seems like I’ve hardly seen him the last few years.”

“He sounds very important,” Nagisa said.

“He is," Rei said, "He’s the head of the physics department at his university and a lead researcher in—

“I mean he sounds important to you, Rei,” Nagisa took his hand.

“Ah. Yes.... I’ve always admired my brother. He was the reason I started doing track..." Rei smiled fondly, "He was the first person I came out to... and he was there for me when I came out to our parents. He even helped mediate when I told them I was dating you in college...”

“Ah. I remember that...” Nagisa gave a dry chuckle.

“They really did want what was best for me," Rei sighed, "I had no idea they would remember you from high school... Apparently they were worried about your influence on me when we were just friends...” 

“They were right. I ruined you,” Nagisa shook his head with in mock regret. 

“I may never recover,” Rei said solemnly.

“I certainly hope not,” Nagisa pecked him on the nose.

Rei returned the kiss on Nagisa’s cheek before returning to his list. He finished checking the remaining items, sat down on the bed and filed the list away in his massive and meticulously organized wedding planning scrapbook. Nagisa flopped down beside him, sending several fabric swatches fluttering to the floor. The entire room was strewn with tiny fabric squares, color samples, and magazines full of smoldering models in suits and tuxes – reference material, or, as Rei had put it – “the most essential weapon of any would-be wedding planner”. 

They spent the next several hours comparing fabrics and colors, considering the skin-tones and of their party members and nuances of contrast and color scheme – both their psychological effect on captive audiences and the technical considerations relating to photography and videography. 

Rei reveled in this sort of research and planning and... boring stuff... But Nagisa could tell that the last few weeks of constant preparation and organization were taking their toll. At 2:45 last night, Rei had sat bolt upright and whispered “what about allergies? Have we cross referenced our flower choices with the medical history of our guests??”... Nagisa had eased him back onto his pillow, reassuring him that it would be fine, and yes, they had incorporated enough gluten-free options into their reception menu, and no, he didn’t think mango was a very common allergy. 

While Rei handled double, triple, and quadruple checking lists, Nagisa had taken it upon himself to monitor the one thing Rei would always forget – himself.

“I think it’s break time,” Nagisa said. 

“Nagisa, we haven’t even finalized our neutrals yet! And we’re running 18 minutes behind my projected planning schedule for today. There’s no time for a break.”

“Rei, I think your schedule has room. You’re starting to look... frantic.”

“I’m fine!” Rei studied the color wheel in his hand, shook his head, and scribbled something in a notebook, “if you want me to be less frantic, take a look at these swatches. I think #214 is too blue, but then #456 is too muted for a summer wedding...”

Nagisa gazed at all the color swatches strewn on the bed. Rei had assigned each one a number, but the back still had the manufacturer’s color name. He began to sort through them, piling all the blue and purple squares in front of him. He held one up at arms length and squinted, studying it carefully, shook his head, and tried another.

“What are you doing?” Rei looked up from his notes.

“Trying to match your hair color,” Nagisa said. 

“Why?” 

Nagisa shrugged. Rei would definitely lose it if he said he was bored, “I thought it might help... if we had a point of reference... a base to compare to?” It was weak, but in Rei’s current state, it might be enough.

“I thought the same thing!” Rei said.

“You... You did?”

“Yes! In that case...” Rei retrieved his scrapbook and flipped through until he found the page he was looking for, “II’ve already matched your eye color... it’s #488 – Soothing Pomegranate Dream...”

“Pfft.”

Rei blushed lightly and Nagisa tried to stifle is giggling. He pulled the book closer, “are you sure, Rei-chan? I think it’s more like Stoic Watermelon... 

“Only in warm interior light...” Rei said.

“Ahh, I see,” Nagisa picked up a few samples from the pile, “I can’t decide if your hair is more Royal Blueberry Whisper or Hazy Indigo...”

“’Hazy Indigo, surely...”

“I don’t know,” Nagisa leaned back into the pillows they’d pushed aside to make room for materials, “your hair’s gotten a little lighter over the last couple of years...”

“It has done no such thing!” Rei allowed himself to be pulled closer.

“Oh! I think I found your eyes! Icy Lavender...” Nagisa looped his arms around Rei, “or wait, maybe Post-modern Periwinkle...”

“Mm...” Rei held two yellows up, “your hair is too light for Wheat+ but less orange than Urban Sunset...”

“True, true...” Nagisa nuzzled his head into Rei’s chest and looped a leg around him for good measure. There was no way he could escape now.

“Perhaps something more golden...”

“Mmm, good idea...” Nagisa had already closed his eyes. He yawned, and felt a thrill of triumph when Rei yawned in response.

“Wait, Nagisa... we have plaaa... ” another yawn interrupted Rei’s protests. 

A few minutes passed lazily.

“Maybe... maybe we have time for a short break...” Rei’s body relaxed.

“I will personally take responsibility for adjusting the schedule...” Nagisa murmured.

“Ok... I suppose that’s...”

 

Nagisa groaned sleepily when Rei’s phone woke them up. Rei groped among the color swatches for his glasses and then again for his phone, catching the call just before it went to voicemail.

“Hello? ... Oh! ... How are you? ... Oh... I see... Okay... No, it’s alright... You don’t need to— I’m sure... Ah... Ok... I’ll let them know... goodbye.”

Nagisa didn’t like the way Rei’s tone dropped. He didn’t like it one bit.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Ah, coincidentally, it was my brother," Rei sat back down on the bed, "He’s been called to speak at a physics symposium... He won’t be able to make the wedding after all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, an update! *happy trumpet sounds*
> 
> It's been MONTHS. *disappointed trumpet sounds* I am... so sorry. 
> 
> It won't be months before the next one, I swear.


	7. Trial in Open Planning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tension. Rei and Nagisa exchange some unkind words. 
> 
> I should probably stop trying to pun on episode titles because "Shopping! No Breathing" was the only good one I had...

The days seemed to fly by, but Nagisa didn't mind the pace. Rei did - Nagisa could tell by how many extra notepads, calendars, and planners they had collected over the last couple of months. Nagisa had to admit that Rei's manic love of planning was useful in situations like this, but he didn't have to share that love. 

“Uuuugh...” Nagisa hung his head back over the edge of the bed, craning his neck for an upside-down peek at Rei. When his boyfrien- his _fiancé_ didn’t stir from his place at the desk, Nagisa groaned again, a little louder this time, a little more dramatic.

“I heard you, Nagisa. Did you have something to say?” Rei didn’t look up.

“We should take a break,” Nagisa said, rolling onto his stomach.

“You can take a break if you want,” Rei sighed.

“Great, except I’m not the one who _needs_ a break,” Nagisa said.

“I’m fine,” Rei said. Nagisa could almost hear his brow furrow, “We have a lot of planning to do and I intend to make the time we have left today. If you want to help, start working on the seating arrangement. I removed my brother from the guest list... so it’s up to date... I’m almost finished entering the data I’ve gathered on jacket cut and pant length.”

“Which of us is wearing the dress?” Nagisa sat up and gestured to a spread in a bridal magazine he found among their materials.

“What?” Rei looked up for the first time.

“I was looking forward to seeing you in a nice mermaid style... Mm, you might not have the hips for it, though...”

“Wha- Nagisa-.”

“Oh, you want me to wear it?”

“No! No one has to wear a dress!”

“Probably for the best. White’s not really my color and strapless gowns don’t flatter you, Rei,” Nagisa flopped back on the bed, a little disappointed when Rei returned to his work without so much as a chuckle. 

Having become something of an expert on the needs and habits of the wild Rei-chan, Nagisa knew pushing the issue wasn’t going to do any good. Something was off in Rei-world and he would just have to wait for Rei to be ready to talk about it. He flipped idly through the bridal shop catalogues strewn on the bed making occasional comments about the hilariously sultry looks on the tux models’ faces, particularly gaudy gowns and other things he hoped would draw Rei’s attention away from his cold calculations. Nothing worked. He was just beginning to doze off when the sound of Rei’s keyboard stopped. 

“Nagisa... why do you do this?” Rei asked.

“Do what?” Nagisa stretched and tried to wake himself up.

“Just... this! Could you at least try to take this seriously?” Rei still stared at the computer screen.

They were getting somewhere, Nagisa thought, but this wasn’t it. He would have to dig a little more. Rei was just like this. He would never admit that anything bothered him until it had built up enough pressure to start seeping out. 

“Could you try to take it less seriously?” he said, “Honestly, Rei, this is supposed to be fun.”

“Not everything can just be fun,” Rei said.

“... I disagree.” Nagisa pointed a finger at the ceiling resolutely.

“Sometimes you have to put effort into things you actually care about,” the keyboard clicks resumed sharply.

“I do care about this,” Nagisa sat up and gave the back of Rei’s head a wounded look, “I’m just not neurotic.”

“Call it whatever you want,” they keyboard clicks stopped again, “but this neuroticism is the only thing that’s going to make this wedding work. Do you know what would happen if we both acted like you? Nothing! Everything would get pushed to the side in favor of whatever catches your immediate interest and nothing would ever get done.”

Suddenly, Nagisa didn’t care so much what was really off in Rei-world.

“Wow, Rei-chan,” the nickname had an unfamiliar bite to it, “I’m sorry I’m so incompetent.”

“You’re not incompetent, Nagisa," Rei sighed, "You’re just unreliable.”

 

The squeak of the mattress and the slam of their bedroom door finally drew Rei out of his work. A cold chill of shame crept into his stomach, but he did his best to cover it with indignation. Nagisa was unreliable. Surely even he could see that... Rei hadn’t said anything untrue. He adjusted his glasses and tried to find his place on the expansive spreadsheet, but the guilt gnawed at him. 

Perhaps he had been a little unfair. 

Slightly rude. 

Callous and uncaring. 

A complete asshole. 

No. Everything he had said was true. Nagisa could barely be counted on to remember to do the most basic tasks, he never cleaned up after himself and he was absurdly prone to distraction. He was frivolous, disorganized and would spend all day goofing off if Rei let him. 

Then why am I marrying him? 

Rei’s stomach twisted at the thought. He was marrying Nagisa because he loved him. They loved each other. He was immature and difficult to deal with sometimes... but he was also the person Rei trusted most. No matter what happened, Rei knew Nagisa would be there for him. He knew he could rely on him.

He stood up so fast his rolling office chair nearly capsized. He _was_ a complete asshole. He had to apologize immediately.

It didn’t take long to run the circuit of their small apartment and determine that Nagisa was not there. Rei felt a tiny string of panic wind itself around his heart. The keys and wallet were gone from the spot on the living room floor where Rei knew Nagisa had thrown them the night before. He opened the front door, vaguely hoping to find Nagisa just on the other side. A chilly breeze greeted him, but nothing else. 

 

This wasn’t the first fight they’d had – it wasn’t even the worst – but Rei couldn’t help but note that it was the first major fight since their engagement. When he got no answer to his calls and texts, he called Rin and then Kou who both assured him that Nagisa wasn’t with them and that they weren’t just saying that because Nagisa told them not to say he was there. Haruka and Makoto were both too far away for Nagisa to have made it there in such a short time. 

This also wasn’t the first time Nagisa had stormed out. One might say it was his signature move. Rei knew he would come home, but he didn’t relish the idea of fretting and pacing alone in their apartment until that time. He tried to wait. He wanted to respect Nagisa’s space give him the time he needed, but after an anxious 47 minutes, he couldn’t take it anymore. He had to find him and apologize. He took a deep breath and tried to call on the spirit of Detective Rei. 

He had already calculated the distance it was possible for Nagisa to travel in the given time, both by foot and taking the train, and created a search radius on a large map of the city now laid out on their table. He would start at likely places: Nagisa’s favorite shops and restaurants, theaters, an arcade they frequented more than Rei thought was appropriate for two adults, and the parks around their neighborhood. That failing, he planned to contact Nagisa’s coworkers; he had a list of interview questions to determine how close they were to Nagisa, and thus how reliable their information about his whereabouts would be. Lists and map in hand, Rei was halfway out the door when his phone buzzed, helpfully illuminating the inside of his pocket. As he scrambled to read it, the map slipped from under his arm and bounced down the flight of stairs in front of him.

\-- im sorry imm not seriou s  
enough, but u ar a dick. --

The phone buzzed three more times while he read the first message.

\-- like.. wow --

\-- i almost cant believ it --

\-- how muhc of a dick u r--

Rei had spent much of the last hour composing an apology which he now furiously typed into his phone. For the sake of timeliness, he expedited the editing process he normally ran his texts through.

\-- Nagisa, I’m so sorry. I am a dick.  
I should never have said those things. You  
have every right to be angry. You are not  
incompetent. And you are not unreliable.  
You are loud and pushy and don’t take  
things seriously enough, but I love those  
things about you.  
I am so, so sorry, Nagisa. --

\-- no, i am smetimes. unreliabel ii get ahed of myself and im sorry --

\-- There’s no reason for you to apologize.  
I was absolutely horrible and you have  
every right to be angry. I would  
completely understand if you didn’t  
want to see me. I just wanted to  
make sure you are safe. Take as  
much time as you need. --

\-- nah this sucks rei-chna i want t come home  
we’re both srry so we should stopp fightig --

\-- If that’s what you want. I will do  
everything in my power to make this  
up to you, Naigsa. I swear.  
I will leave if you want me to. I can  
sleep on the couch. I can stay  
somewhere else. Please don’t feel  
like you have to forgive me right away.  
I’m willing to do whatever it takes for  
our relationship to heal from the terrible  
wound I inflicted on it. --

\-- Rei...  
u wrote a lot and im a littel tipsy,  
but I forgive u  
and we re bth sorry so...  
can u come pick me up? （ﾉ´д｀）--

\-- ...Yes. Where are you? --

 

“I’m ok, Rei-chan, I can totally walk,” Nagisa said sleepily into Rei’s ear. 

“It’s ok,” Rei shifted Nagisa’s weight on his back when he began to slide off, “Why were you at that place anyway? It wasn’t on any of my lists...”

“I don’t know... That’s what people do when they fight? They go to bars and get drunk and talk about their problems. I don’t make the rules, Rei-chan.”

“Maybe in movies,” Rei said, trying to politely avoid Nagisa’s breath, “... how much did you tell those people?”

“Wha d’ya mean?” Nagisa said.

“When I picked you up, everyone knew my name...” Rei said.

“Maybe you’re famous...”

“The bartender called me ‘Rei-chan’...”

“Oh,” Nagisa yawned, “I might have told them a little bit about us... and our fight... and how we got together... and stuff. They were all really nice. Yuka-chan was the one who said I should text you...”

Yuka-chan?

The one in the green dress. She's just got a new job! Isn't that great? They all said you were probably worried..." Nagisa said sleepily. 

“I was,” Rei said.

“You really don’t think I’m unreliable?” Nagisa asked after a few moments of silence.

“No,” Rei said, “of course not.”

“What am I, then?” 

“What?”

“I want to know what you think I am, Rei-chan. If I’m not unreliable... or incompetent...” Nagisa said, “then what am I?”

“You’re... ” Rei struggled, “I mean...You’re...”

“Geez, Rei-chan, I didn’t think it would be this difficult,” Nagisa said.

“It’s not that I don’t have an answer!” Rei said defensively, “I just want to choose the right one...”

“There are no right answers in the game of life, Rei-chan...” Nagisa waved a hand lazily

“It’s just that... you’re everything I’ve ever wanted... and...” Rei said.

“Aw, Rei... Anything else?”

“I... well... I know I’ve said it a thousand times, but... you're beautiful.”

“Hmm," Nagisa nuzzled his head into Rei's shoulder, "I like it. It's nostalgic...”

He was silent for the rest of the walk home. Rei made him drink a glass of water and offered one more time to sleep on the couch before they settled into bed. Just when Rei thought Nagisa was asleep, he scooted over and nestled into Rei’s side.

“Rei...” he said sleepily.

“What is it?” Rei asked.

“We should get married,” Nagisa yawned.

“You think so?” Rei said.

“Yeah.”

“...Ok.”

The minutes ticked by and Rei tried to focus on the gentle rhythm of Nagisa’s breathing. He tried to let it lull him to sleep like it had done so often on hard days when they were just starting out... but it wasn’t quite enough to quiet his thoughts this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, I told you it wouldn't be 5 months! 
> 
> I had this part outlined before Eternal Summer started, so when episode 5 rolled around and Nagisa ran away from home it felt like all my headcanons had come true. It was surreal. 
> 
> I think... we have two chapters left. I'm pretty sure... but I will probably (definitely) keep writing related one-shots for the rest of my life.
> 
> Thank you all for reading!


End file.
